Dealing with grief due to the passing of someone close is the hardest thing.
About 6 years ago, I lost a family member to lupus. At that time, it wasn't easy for me to move on or get over the sadness in a short time.
this time, it was my grandmother's passing and for someone who has been with me all my life, it was even harder than ever.
During the 1-2 day I could still contain and only totally let loose crying when the last hymn was sung and the reality hits that I will never ever be able to see or hear this person talk anymore. Or have a conversation.
But that didn't stop, everyday after that, I would just burst into tears each time I think of her, or see something that reminds me of her. Her smile,, the questions on whether have I eaten, when will i be going back to my apt, when will be coming back. Brings me to tears each time.
I could no longer have the conversations I have with her when I am ironing clothes in her room. Where she would strike conversations like, " Not going out with your friends today?" to which I would almost always answer, " no friends lah ah ma how?" then she would say, " I will pray for you don't worry" I miss her so much and its so hard to let go.
I know its time for her to go after not being well and being 90 and all but IT DOESN'T MAKE IT ANY EASIER.
I am crying like a running tap at the moment while typing this.
Ah Ma I miss you but I know you're in a better place. Rest in Peace and we will meet again at that beautiful shore.....